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Archive for December, 2012

A Time of Change

Change is inevitable.  Life is full of changes around us everyday whether we like it or not.  Some changes are small and petty and others are life changing and can be good or bad.

My name is Tammy.  I am one of four siblings and the oldest.  We are a very tight knit family and I would not trade it for anything.  My faith, family and friends are the most important parts of my life.  The rest is either necessary (like work) or a bonus (like football, of which I am an avid fan, btw) .  I am a Cleveland sports fan and Sundays are for God and football games from September to February.

For the purpose of this post, my story starts in 2011.  It was a year that forced me to open my eyes and my heart, turn everything over to God and stop being afraid of living the life He has planned for me.

The year started rough from the word go.  In January we had to put our 3 1/2 year old cat to sleep due to illness, we had to replace our furnace, I was having health issues due to stress and my daughter had decided to move back to Texas.  This all happened between January and March 18th..

Then on March 19, 2011 my world was rocked to the core when my daddy passed away peacefully but unexpectedly in his sleep.  My mom had passed away unexpectedly in 2007 and now it was all happening again and this time death took my last parent.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  Everything crashed in on me and I had to try to process it.  I had no understanding of why God decided to take him when I still needed him so much.  I was his “Tamara Jeanne” his “palm tree”, his firstborn.

I managed to get through the calling hours and the funeral, and I got my daughter on a plane to Texas a week later and found out that same day that a co-worker had died suddenly.  It was too much and I had to step back.  I had to get my bearings about me and breathe.  I had wonderful friends and my family to support me but I was fighting an inner battle.

I had to turn to God completely.  My husband and I needed a revamp of some things in our life and we couldn’t do it alone.  I had to give EVERYTHING to God.  He tells us to bring our burdens to him and he will give us rest.  He tells us that he knows our pain and he will guide us and he also tells us he is our provider.  There is a song “Enough” (see link below) that says it all.  My God is more than enough for me but I have to turn to him and TRUST him.  So I did.

One Sunday morning I was standing in the back of the sanctuary by myself and suddenly I heard four very distinct words: “Go back to college”. I turned around to see who spoke an no one was there.  I knew immediately it was God telling me what his plan was for me.  I was scheduled to have surgery on my left foot on September 1st and was off work for five months.  During that time I did my research, applied and was accepted into the Univ. of Massachusetts – Amherst and began classes in January 2012.  I just completed my second semester last week.  I love school and am majoring in Journalism.  I have always loved to write for the purpose of sharing my experiences and encouraging others on their own life journeys.  Writing is also a way for me to express myself and get my thoughts down on paper (or on a computer) to process things a little easier.   Hence the reason for my blog comes to light.

It is important to share with others because we are in this thing called life together and it is not easy.  So many people are struggling with so many things today and they don’t always know where to turn or what to do.  If I can help one person gain some insight or perspective or make him/her think about what the next step in life will be, then I will accomplish my goal.

In Summary 2011 was a year of learning to trust.  2012 has been about learning to obey, and that will be the subject of my next post.  Stay tuned.

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